Back to the room

Media kit

Advertise in the ICU

SaaS ICU is a hospital room where the patient is SaaS. Every day people come in to check the Death Index, vote on the plug and pin a farewell note. Your brand is part of the room while they do.

See the placementsBidding opens soon
Your logo hereOct 16, 2026Death index 68
Still alive.Book this bed

The audience's vitals

Counted by the site itself, since Oct 16. Updated every hour.

Visitors
29
Different people, since Oct 16
A day
29
Visitors on an average day
Page loads
33
Times the room was opened, since Oct 16
Back the next day
Measuring
Of first-time visitors
Back a week later
Measuring
Of first-time visitors, on day 7
Time in the room
1m 11s
Actively looking, per visitor a day

A visitor is a random id in a first-party cookie, never an address, and there are no third-party trackers. Bots are left out. A spot counts an impression once per page load, after it has been on screen for a second. Return rates appear once 30 first-time visitors have had the chance to come back.

Where your brand goes

The numbered placements are in the room itself. The polaroids hang in the ward on the TV, and the share card travels with every shared link.

The hospital room at night: the patient in bed, neon signs through the window, balloons above the monitor and an IV bag beside the bed.123456
The room as it loads. The TV hangs on the right-hand wall, just out of shot.

Placements

11 placements and no more, each with room for your logo. One brand per placement per day, and up to 2 placements per brand a day unless you take the whole room.

  1. 1Billboard A

    Where
    The near neon sign across the street, through the window.
    Your creative
    Your logo and two lines in two colours, lit as neon.
    Seen
    In view as the room loads. 11 impressions since Oct 16.

    Reserve price coming soon

  2. 2Billboard B

    Where
    The far, larger neon sign across the street.
    Your creative
    Your logo and two lines in two colours, lit as neon.
    Seen
    In view as the room loads. 11 impressions since Oct 16.

    Reserve price coming soon

  3. 3The drip

    Where
    The IV bag label beside the patient: the drip keeping SaaS alive.
    Your creative
    Your logo on the label, under “Sponsored infusion”.
    Seen
    In view as the room loads. 11 impressions since Oct 16.

    Reserve price coming soon

  4. 4Get-well balloons3, sold separately

    Where
    The red, silver and yellow balloons above the monitor.
    Your creative
    Your logo printed on the balloon.
    Seen
    In view as the room loads.

    Reserve price coming soon

  5. 5Vitals

    Where
    The bedside monitor, and the vitals panel it opens.
    Your creative
    Your logo shocks the monitor for two seconds, then sits small in its corner. “Vitals brought to you by” in the panel.
    Seen
    The monitor is in view as the room loads. 9 vitals panel opens since Oct 16.

    Reserve price coming soon

  6. 6The TV

    Where
    The wall TV on the right-hand wall, on every channel.
    Your creative
    A logo bug in the corner of the screen, and “brought to you by” on each channel a visitor opens.
    Seen
    Whenever a visitor turns to the TV or opens a channel. 16 TV opens since Oct 16.

    Reserve price coming soon

  7. 7Bedside polaroids2, sold separately

    Where
    Pinned in the ward, the list of patients on TV channel 3.
    Your creative
    Your logo or name, a tagline and a link, photographed with the day’s Death Index.
    Seen
    Whenever a visitor opens the ward.

    Reserve price coming soon

  8. 8Share card

    Where
    The preview image when the site is shared on X, LinkedIn or Slack.
    Your creative
    Your logo and “presented by” on the card.
    Seen
    Wherever the link is shared. Sold by the week, since networks keep a preview for days.

    Reserve price coming soon

Take the whole room

One brand on every placement for a day, plus the get-well card on the nightstand. Visitors walk into a room that belongs to you, and nobody else can buy a spot in it that day.

Reserve price coming soon

How bidding works

  1. Pick placements and days. A day runs midnight to midnight UTC; the share card runs Monday to Sunday.
  2. Upload your brand kit. One kit covers every placement, and every creative is checked by hand before it runs.
  3. Bid. The highest bid takes each placement for the day, and you're only charged if you win.

Bidding opens on this page soon.

House rules

  • Only companies that sell software by subscription can advertise. AI-native counts.
  • No chipmakers. The machines can buy their own ads.
  • Never for sale: the Death Index, the patient, the patient chart, the whiteboard, the morgue, the plug vote and the farewell notes. The numbers stay honest and the notes stay the visitors' own.

What to send

One brand kit, uploaded once. Each placement draws what it needs from it.

Square logo
SVG or PNG, transparent, at least 512 px, under 200 KB
Every placement
Light-on-dark logo
Same; without it the square logo is drawn in white
Billboards and the TV bug (optional)
Brand name
Up to 24 characters
Polaroids, vitals, TV, share card
Two lines
Line 1 up to 16 characters, line 2 up to 22
Billboards
One line
Up to 40 characters
Vitals
Tagline
Up to 60 characters
Polaroids
Two colours
From a palette that reads at night
Billboards
Link
HTTPS
Every placement people can click

Bidding opens soon

Every placement goes to auction one day at a time, right here on this page.